What's the difference between God and most Christians, these days? Although the obvious response would be, "as much distance as He can put between them and Himself," the old standard still applies. "God doesn't think He's a Christian..." [At least, not in the traditional, hypocritical sense.]

Let's face it. No one on earth hates more people [or people more] than "good Christians". They live to despise. And truer words were ne'er spoken than that "they believe in the sanctity of life between conception and birth." But once you're here? Wwwwwwwatch out, baby. 'Cause all bets are off!

Poor? It seems those who follow Jesus are now required to ask, "Who the hell do you think you are, expecting us to pay for your schooling and care?" It's in the handbook. Right next to, "Life-saving medical attention shall be made available only to the impoverished who've refused same, prefering instead to leave fate in God's hands. At which point, such attention is made mandatory [with or (preferably) without patient consent and/or cooperation]."

Black? Red? Yellow? Green? This calls for a rousing, "You made your bed, now lie in it!" Add a couple of tsks, and a, "Can't imagine what you did that God wouldn't let you be white, but it must've been a doozy," for good measure. Pretend to fold, gently, but DO NOT MIX OR STIR!

Foreign? "Here's a tip. God speaks English. Learn it! And -- better luck, next time..."

Female? "Your sins are great. Your souls are not. Your rules are clear." [That's "good Christian-speak" for "Sit! Stay! Roll over!" Use daily for best results.]

Gay? Well, according to the literature, God's particularly offended by you and your kind. This is a perversion so grievous an abomination in the eyes of their Lord that they cannot stop themselves from thinking about it! Not the unbridled lust, not the impromptu orgies, not the copious sodomy and especially not the wild tangle of loins glistening with the sweat of wickedness and desire. Your very existence derails "good Christians" from the path of righteousness. YOUR MINDS ARE DISEASED and GOD HATES YOU!

Need the list go on? No. But of course, it does. Ad nauseam.

"As ye have done unto the least of My brethren, also ye have done unto Me." "As far as it depends upon you, be peaceable unto all, for vengeance is Mine." "If you believe in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth you are wrong, for when a man smiteth you, you must turn the other cheek." This stuff is for pussies, apparently. And do not get me started on "love thy neighbor." God had to've said that long before realizing neighbors can be such collossal assholes, right?

And so we must ask ourselves, "Why?" Why would those whose raison d'etre is a seething hatred for 99% of the world's populace be actively engaged in a bloody struggle to assure there will always be more where they came from? It ain't calculus, my friends...

Sadly, "good Christians" live in constant fear that one day there may be no one left to hate. No "other" to blame for their trials and tribulations. No inferior to their superior. No damned to their divine. And of course, no targets for their "compassion". Common sense would decree, "Show me a 'good Christian' unable to muster something to loathe about any[and every]one and I'll show you a slacker!" But there is simply no consoling the poor dears.

Abortion "on demand" has them singing, "One less kid to hassle. One less con to fry. One less fag to hang from rafters. I should be happy -- but all I do is cry..."

"Good Christians" require fodder!

"Good Christians" believe with every fiber of their beings that God loves them [and only them].
"Good Christians" enjoy fearing God, raging against Humanity, and narcs on the beach at sunset.
"Good Christians" demonize and condemn all who will not be converted [nor subverted].
"Good Christians" disdain universal health-care and education, and consider sharing "a socialist menace".
"Good Christians" are deathly allergic to both the First Amendment and the concept of Free Will.
"Good Christians" cheer lengthy prison sentences and hideous conditions for even non-violent offenders.
"Good Christians" support capital punishment for victimless crimes and throw tailgate parties at executions.
"Good Christians" love guns and wars [and swell with personal pride at soldiers' funerals]. And, most of all --
"Good Christians" never tire of telling us what "good Christians" they are...

So! Here's our basic problem.
Pay close attention.
Feel free to use your calculator.

If 100,000 "good Christians" spent 1 full calendar week blocking access to 35,000 family-planning clinics serving the needs of 20 million women in 50 states, in less than one year [and to a difference of + or - 12], the earth will contain how many more people "good Christians" wish to kill with their bare hands?

If your answer is, "Why didn't they just mind their own damn business in the first place?" You are correct.

But, it seems nothing makes one quite so angry and domineering as a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And thus, we are no match for the wrongly-named "right to life" control-freak movement. They've got us on the scenic route to their version of the slaughter-house [poverty, illiteracy, indentured servitude, death row. Alone, and in combination], while we worry about how much to tip the freakin' driver...

Why? Because the only thing which might get us off our collective, self-satisfied, proverbially fatuous ass would be for "terrorists" to scramble every television signal in the land. Now, that would be a national call to action!

But, insist that our votes be counted? Heaven forfend! They might think we're pushy.
Claim our true president? Being aggressive is not attractive! The big boys won't like us.
Demand our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of childlessness? Not very feminine!

Oh, no.
Do these opinions make me look fat?

Personally, I'm willing to support their overturning of Roe vs. Wade should it be replaced by the following:

From this day forth, any male who impregnates any female and then fails to take an active role in the life of the fetus and child [emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and financially] will be sterilized within thirty [30] days of first infraction. Second infractions will result in immediate remanding to the Parental Re-Education work-camps where offenders shall remain employed, housed, and, on a strenuous visitation schedule, until such time as the offended reach an age of majority.

[Oh! And the penalty for use of morning-after birth-control methods shall be the penalty for male masturbation, as well. Men who spill potential Life into crumpled tissues and then toss it into the trash must pay for their sins.]

"Good Christians" want to legislate morality, end abortion in America, and protect the family, so this oughtta do it, right? Think we can get Pat Robertson's support? Buchanan's? Fred Phelps'? Anybody with me on this???

Of course not. Because no "good Christian" would dream of telling a man what to do with his body and life. Let alone his children. Were men able to conceive, abortions would be available for 25 cents a pop in every public restroom, at road-side attractions, and all major sporting events. Kits for the Do-It-Yourself-er would fill racks at check-out counters. Home Depot's Saturday morning seminars would require reservations at least six months in advance...

But they will kill to control our bodies and lives. We are their broodmares. And without us, they are nothing.

These are your eggs on thugs!

And each forced pregnancy is a testament to our unfathomable willingness to supply fresh meat for the grinder. Why are we so timid in our resistance? Pure, unadulterated sloth and stupefaction. And, a dollop of ignorance.

I remember when abortions were illegal, nationwide. Because it wasn't that long ago. I remember the first time someone I knew died from an illegal abortion. As I remember the second. And, as I remember believing Roe v. Wade would mean never knowing a third...

Let us not forget that "good Christians" rail against false idols, but worship $$$ and the American flag. Insist the oxymoronic [compassionate conservative] and truly moronic [family values] are "deep". Think sex is an evil but High Treason is commendable. Remain convinced that Reagan was "articulate". Believe that a lie "for God" is the Truth. And, [in the face of all reason] that george w. bush won the last election. Go figure.

Point is, these people are nutsoid. Three psalms short of a King James version. One toke over the line. And in a position to trespass against the national uterus.

So, the next time a "good Christian" rails against abortion, remember their true concern. With every procedure, a slower, more painful death for this child has been ripped from their grasp. Another heathen has escaped their scorn and derision. And one more woman is beyond their control...

OUCH!
Now, that's gotta hurt!




THERE ARE "GOOD CHRISTIANS".
AND THEN THERE ARE BETTER CHRISTIANS...



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