I was shocked (shocked!) to learn that the woman who wandered America in tight miniskirts which kept John McCain’s eyes glued to her ass would so often be, uh… “immortalized” …in porn. First there was Nailin’ Palin, and today I discovered this little gem [by going further or clicking any link you've declared under penalty of perjury that you are 18 years of age, or older]:
OMG! At least it’s obvious she didn’t drag her real daughter into this, but.
I can’t tell…is that one of the outfits she was supposed to auction off after the campaign ended?
I heard she got more than two grand for her Naughty Monkey Double-Dare pumps. Those definitely sound like the shoes of a true believer who speaks in tongue, so I’m guessing they went to another good Christian woman with strong family values who’s somehow earned the right to tell everyone else how to live. Or to a good Christian man with strong family values who’s somehow earned the right to a foot fetish [and probably grown the cojones to lead a national coalition (of good Christians with strong family values) trying to criminalize foot fetishes].
I’m not wondering why she resigned as governor of Alaska. This gig must have paid ten times her old salary for just a few hours work — and I’ll bet no one on the set was asking her which newspapers she reads!
Now, I started doing some sleuthing and ran across all kinds of outrage. A lot of people screaming, “sexist!” Insisting this wouldn’t be happening were Sarah Palin a man. I agree! This wouldn’t be happening were Sarah Palin a man. If there’d been a drag queen running around the country wearing tight miniskirts and hoping to be “a heartbeat away from the presidency,” we would have cared that John McCain couldn’t keep his eyes off the gurl’s ass. But we wouldn’t have [let anyone know we] wanted to see her porn tapes!
I probably would’ve liked Sarah Palin a hell of a lot more were she a drag queen, but it’s hard to imagine [her with a wit (when we're so used to seeing her with only half that)]. No self-respecting drag queen would spend her weekends shooting wolves from helicopters or disemboweling moose. But Americans just aren’t ready for chicks with dicks in the Oval Office.
We do love our tired old queens, though! Liberace, Rip Taylor, Tom Delay. Of course, most of us deny their “flamboyance” and tell ourselves they like the ladies, but that kind of repression is scary. It’s how gay porn slips under the radar and into primetime on a major network. Okay, so it’s gay porn for seniors and would only pack heat in a wrinkle bar, but — trust me — it’s gay porn [your first clue is the fag hag young enough to be his daughter].
Honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. So a woman who’s wrapped too tightly [in scripture] is now as one with her inner wanton exhibitionist. And a flouncing should-be convicted felon is doing softcore scenes in front of the children. You know what’s “obscene?”
“Obscene” is what we’ve been doing to other human beings in Iraq and Afghanistan and Pakistan, etc. “Obscene” is pretending we believe “decent healthcare is a basic human right” — as we continue doing what we’re doing to other human beings in Iraq and Afghanistan and Pakistan, etc. “Obscene” is the concern we show for the occasional missing or murdered child — well, the occasional missing or murdered American child — as we continue doing what we’re doing to children in Iraq and Afghanistan and Pakistan, etc.
Truly “obscene” is that Tom Delay dances for the world rather than for a cell mate, and that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Powell, Rove, etc., ad nauseam [including just about every politician, banker, lobbyist, ceo, and general] aren’t all in the same [vast] cell block…but we’ve got millions of pot smokers — often licensed medical marijuana patients and providers — doing hard time.
Most obscene of all is that we the people are enabling the fall of our Rome [while we yammer about next elections, and sign petitions, and write angry emails]. We act as though we can do nothing without permission. And we will have no “change” until we Americans, as one, go on strike. No going to work or school, no shopping, no pumping gas.
How long would it take to bring this mutha down — 48 hours? 72? Throw in a few pitchforks and we might be talkin’ 24. Starting over from scratch is a scary prospect, I know. But not as scary as where we’re headed, now. And, despite the protests to the contrary, our descent has absolutely nothing to do with porn…rb [who apologizes, sincerely and profusely, for anything which might have caused the reader to picture Tom Delay naked and/or having carnal knowledge.]