Man is never so low as when he crawls on his belly like a compassionate conservative -- and never so high as when he's AWOL on a coke binge during times of war.

We at residentbush.com are not idiots. We do not believe for one moment that Karen Hughes returned to Austin for any reason other than to head the Dirty Tricks Department at TCU [Texas Christianistas for Unelections] 2002, in preparation for Selection 2004. Hear us now and believe us later -- brakelines will be cut, if necessary.

We at residentbush.com are most honored, pleased, and proud to present, deep from the heart of Texas, a most esteemed and trusted comrade and informant:

DeLay's insolent attempt to force the Texas Legislature to redistrict and add Republicans to the state's congressional delegation has blown up in a series of astonishing explosions.

People watching news about goings-on at our state Capitol are wondering why we Texans are so nutty. Republican speaker couldn't lead a Cub Scout den to a Baskin-Robbins.

38 residents railroaded on a train of lies. There was no corroborating evidence or witnesses. Coleman, indicted last month on felony perjury charges in connection with the case, is free while awaiting trial.

Camera crews almost outnumber protesters at Dixie Chicks' triumphant return-to-Austin concert. Protesters came from UT Young Conservatives of Texas and FreeRepublic freepers.

A former Enron Corp. vice president who developed pricing and risk models for the bankrupt company will oversee risk for the University of Texas System's more than $13 billion in investment assets......

Now the Austin Police Dept. and the City Manager have decreed police won't wear riot gear at protests, they wear ID clearly visible on their badges, and the number of police warranted is based on the number of protestors present. Wow. It's like the Austin police are there for us, not agin us......

Every major Texas newspaper that has written on the subject has come out against the redistricting plan. In the words of one particularly strong editorial, DeLay's re-redistricting plan is "raw, shameless politics and shows little regard for the residents who'll be affected or the taxpayers who'll foot the bill......"